F is for ...

The first thing that came to mind for this installment of the encyclopedia was one choice four-letter word. This is the extent of my ability to articulate my feelings about this week: fuck.

But, you know, F stands for some other words, too. For instance, it stands for Family and Friends, both of which we were reminded that we have in abundance. Turns out it can be a little disorienting to feel that you've lost a great love from your life and be bolstered by so much love from so many directions all at the same time. To feel gratitude at the same time as anger, sorrow, self-loathing.... is a very strange sensation. There's a big emptiness that I don't think will ever be filled and, honestly, I don't want it to be. But it will shrink and that is good and knowing that is why I am able to let the sad wash over me. I know it won't crush me because my friends and family keep sending us love and funny memories of Loyd.

My best woman, D, sent us a poem she wrote to Loyd. She claims not to be terribly creative so attributes this to a great muse. I can't argue about the muse. With her permission, a glimpse at our pup's life:

loyd

he was big
he was black
he was naughty
he talked back

he was cute
he was sweet
he was a big dog
on his feet

favorite pastimes
he had a few
on tennis balls
he loved to chew

at the park
he’d find his pack
they’d run and run
and not look back

with the coyotes
he liked to play
through the woods
they’d hunt all day

he was cute
he was sweet
bags of sugar
he did eat

he was big
he was black
on his leash
he pulled off track

for all these things
and so much more
we loved you loyd
though you did snore

say goodbye
we have to do
to you dear loyd
we bid adieu

on your journey
go with peace
find your pack
and don’t look back

loyd